WOTBB 23 – The Spanish Inquisition

Original date of blog: April 24th, 2015

While trying to think of nicknames for the next line of tanks I’ve completed, I’ve drawn a near enough complete blank, so I had no idea what to call this blog. I went with this title because of Monty Python’s “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition”. Of course, it’s funny as hell, but in this case, also very fitting for the title.

I have recently gotten my third tier X tank. And with recently, I mean just a few days ago. And this entire line of tanks was completely different from what I had expected before hand. The tanks I thought I would love, I hate. The tanks I thought I would hate, I love. So; Spanish Inquisition.

I usually start describing the tank lines from tier IV on, but I want to spend a moment to tell you about the tier II tank as well. It’s the T18. It is tiny, and for its tier quite slow, but has such a nice gun – you can one-shot a lot of the tanks it meets with it. The HE it has also has great potential to get Bomardier-medals, so it’s definitely a fun little tank to keep around.

Now, the T82 and the T40 aren’t all that special to me, so I’m skipping those instead. The Wolverine was one of the first tanks I ever drove that has a turret. And, being used to tank destroyers, I had no clue what to do with it. So I died. A lot. Without doing any damage. It took some time for me to appreciate the way I could play peek-a-boom with it, even though it was very different from how I used to tank. And I figured, turrets weren’t so bad. I might even come to enjoy them.

And then I got the Jackson. I thought it would be fun, because it looked just like a better version of the Wolverine in a higher tier. But it wasn’t. It was a pain. The armour is very light for its tier, especially for a TD, and the gun isn’t that powerful. Meaning? You most often get shot and die before you fire more than one or two shots. And it’s too slow to really properly peek-a-boom with. Getting through it was absolutely hell (or so I thought, until later on), but I persevered. But the Jackson was the main reason I didn’t continue with the line for some time. I only did my doubles in it, if even that. I disliked it that much.

But, eventually, I got through it, and got the T25AT. It is my favourite tier VII tank, and I believe might be one of my favourite tanks all together. Having killed them so easily myself in other tanks, I was pretty sure I would hate it. It is a girl-tank – there is a metal bow on its bum. It’s light, and fast, and though the gun doesn’t do -that- much damage, it reloads fast and can penetrate most tanks it meets quite decently. I adore the little tank. Grinding it was an absolute joy, especially after the Jackson. It’s fast enough to flank with the mediums – you get to hang back a little then because you’re just that bit slower, but it makes it a perfect support-TD for mediums that way.

And when that lovely grind was over, I knew I would be having trouble with the T28. It seems quite sluggish and not that good at all, when I had met it in battles before while driving my other tier VIII’s. I had saved up a lot of free XP again (and converted some too, to be sure), so I could start with the right parts and everything. I wanted to keep the pain it would give me to a minimum.

But there was no pain. No hardship. The T28 is a delight. Yes, it’s slow, but it was definitely not the awful tank I thought it to be. I had a lot of fun, driving that. It does a nice amount of damage, and as long as you can avoid getting flanked, you can bounce quite a lot in it. In fact, if not for the fact that I like my ISU-152 better because it’s faster, it might have been my favourite (non-premium) tier VIII tank.

I really enjoyed this grind as well, against all expectations. And I was completely excited as I got closer and closer to the Mighty Doom Turtle. The tank I had started down this line for. The tank with which I have had many an epic battle while it was driven by my platoon mates while I drove either Jagdtiger or Object 704. The tank which bounces over half the shots it receives and does alpha damage every game. I saved up for it, made sure I could buy equipment for it, and then… I bought it!

It. Is. Crap. Absolute crap. I thought the Jackson was hell? No, the Jackson was a walk in the park compared to this! I’ve never hated a tank so much in my life. I hate it even more than the D.W. II and the Jackson. Combined! It is not even a bad tank on its own. My ratings in it are good. My average damage in it is decent enough. But oh my CoJo, the speed! Ugh. Turtle doesn’t come close enough to describing the speed. Even snails are faster!

Unless you go for the base straight away, you will never be able to prevent it from being captured should the enemy try and do so. And that’s a problem. Because in the high-tiers, you usually don’t capture the base. But you can’t go anywhere else, because once you go one way, you won’t be able to go another way. Or at least, you can, but you will not arrive there before the match ends. And I hate that.

I don’t mind slow tanks – most TD’s are slow. But if need be, they can get somewhere and save the day and your team mates. Not so in the Doom Turtle Fail. Any tank can outrun you, and if it’s just you versus one guy in the end, which happens, you have to be near or already inside the base to have a chance at winning at all. It’s awful. Biggest disappointment in my tanking life. I got to 50k XP in it before I gave up on it, and realised it’s really not the tank for me in any way.

So.. with the sale Wargaming had going on where you would get more gold for the same price.. I got gold… And got about 240k free XP and researched the E3. Now, this might have been a bit too impatient of me, I realised, when I saw that I was still just under 2 million credits short of being able to actually buy the E3 (never mind the fact that I still needed equipment). So I did the only thing I could do.

I sold the Doom Turtle Fail.

Now, I have never, ever, sold a tank before (except the PzB2, but that was in my noob days when I had no clue what I was doing all together, and I’ve gotten it back, thank CoJo). I’ve always felt that even if I disliked a tank then, I should give it another chance later on. Not so with the Doom Turtle Fail. I’ve utterly and completely given up on it. Maybe, just maybe, when I have all the other tanks (TD’s, mediums -and- heavies), I might, -might-, give it another chance. But I don’t think it’s likely to happen.

For now, I’m moving on with the E3. My winrate in it is at the moment just appalling, but that will get better. I’m getting used to it, and I do serious damage just about every match. I really like it. It’s everything I thought the DMF would be and more. The gun is lovely, and does decent damage. The armour is a lot better than that of the Object 268, and though it is slower, it’s not as slow as I expected. I’m having to learn to drive it, because I know the big sides it has are vulnerable to your enemies. Unlike the tanks before it, it’s not low to the ground at all.

But wiggling goes a long way, and the gun does the rest. I might actually have to learn how to angle now though, in order to be really good in it. I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it. Like all tier X’s, it takes some getting used to. And that’s the challenge in tier X, I think, and why tier X is so much fun to drive.

Overall this line of tanks was full of pleasant and unpleasant surprises. I’ve learned things about myself while grinding it, and about my tanking style. I didn’t think any tank could ever be -too- slow for me, for one, and now I know there is at least one out there that is. I’m better prepared for the next lines of tanks I will research. The next line to grind? The E4-line. Once I have that, I will have all the tank destroyers that are researchable. Well, all, except the DMF. But I’d rather that garage slot remains empty than putting that thing back in my garage…

Battles fought: 5,795
Winrate: 62.24%
Average damage: 1,461

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